Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers
"Invasion of the Body Switchers"
Written by Michael Gibby

Characters herein are © Walt Disney corporation. Distribute freely, but do not modify.

(Scene opens in Fat Cat's office.  He is talking to a cat in a
white lab coat who has a ray gun in his hand.)

     Cat : You see, sir, this gun can take the mind from one
          individual and exchange it with the mind from another.

     Fat Cat : I highly doubt it.  That only works in movies and

     Cat : Then perhaps a demonstration will convince you.

(The cat points the ray gun at Mole and pulls the trigger.  The
ray hits Mole and he looks even dumber than usual.  The cat then
points the gun at Fat Cat.  Energy goes from both targets' heads
and into the others'.  Fat Cat and Mole have switched minds.)

     Mole : Hey, that tickled!

     Fat Cat : It worked!  Now, reverse the process.  I don't
          want to be in this numbskull's body longer than I
          have to.

(The cat reverses the process.  Fat Cat takes the gun from him.)

     Fat Cat : I'm impressed.  Now for your payment.  How much do
          you want for it?

     Cat : Five hundred fish.

(Mepps and Wart leave, then come back with a cartload of fish. 
The cat takes it from them and starts to leave.)

     Fat Cat : Before you go, would you mind staying for awhile? 
          I don't trust these idiots with switching my mind for
          another's, and I'll need someone to operate the

     Cat : Of course, for another five fish.

     Fat Cat : You will receive your payment after the services
          are completed.

(Scene shifts to Ranger Headquarters.  Gadget walks into the room
from a hallway.  The others are sitting at the table, talking. 
As soon as they notice Gadget, they stop.  Gadget, previously in
a good mood, suddenly looks a little depressed.)

     Chip : What's the matter, Gadget?

     Gadget : Has anyone besides me noticed that, for the past
          week, conversations stop when I walk into the room? 
          Normally I wouldn't mind, but today's my birthday.

     Dale : I hadn't noticed.  Well, I've got to get going.  The
          newsstand on the corner gets new comic books today, and
          I'm in the middle of four mini-series's.

     Chip : I need to get going, too.  I have a dental
          appointment at nine.

     Monty : And I'm going to be a judge at a cheese show at ten. 
          Sorry, Gadget.  Your breakfast is in the refrigerator.

(The guys go their separate ways and Gadget goes to the
refrigerator and gets her breakfast.  She takes it to the table
and sits down.)

     Gadget : Oh well, it's not the first birthday I've spent
          alone.  Of course, the first one was the year my father

(Gadget thinks back to a birthday long ago.  Flashback time!)

(Scene shifts to Gadget's 7th birthday party.  A group of her
friends is sitting around a large table.  She is sitting at the
head of the table with a party hat on.  Her friends are singing
"Happy Birthday to You" while her father carries in a birthday
cake.  He sets it down in front of Gadget.  After the song is
over, she blows out all the candles.  Everybody cheers and her
father gives her a hug.)

(Scene shifts back to R.R.H.Q.  Gadget has hardly touched her
breakfast and is starting to cry.  She pulls out a handkerchief
and wipes away the tears.)

     Gadget : Cheer up, Gadget.  What did you do last time?  You
          went for a drive all day, that's what.

(Gadget gets up and goes out the door.  She gets in the Ranger
Mobile and drives off.  The others have been hiding among the
leaves in the tree.  They come out and watch Gadget drive off.)

     Dale : Whew, that was close!  We better get started
          decorating before she comes back.

     Chip : Yeah, but she really looked hurt.  I hope she doesn't
          do something stupid.

     Monty : Nah, Gadget's too smart for that.  Still, I hope
          she's okay.

(Scene shifts to the city streets.  Gadget is driving down the
road when she spots Mepps holding up a mouse.  She pulls over to
the side and confronts the villain.)

     Gadget : What do you think you're doing?

     Mepps : Setting a trap for you.

(Fat Cat and the rest of his gang jump out of a nearby alley and
capture Gadget.  He hands five bucks to the mouse that Mepps was
"holding up.")

     Fat Cat : Thank you.  You may go now.

(The mouse looks hesitant until Fat Cat threatens him.  He then
turns around and runs.)

     Fat Cat : Welcome, my dear.  I do trust that you had a
          pleasant trip.  Professor, come out here, please.

(The cat that sold Fat Cat the ray gun steps out of the alley. 
Fat Cat hands him the gun.)

     Fat Cat : Now then, tie me up.

     Mepps : Are you sure, boss?  You're not the one being

     Fat Cat : Of course I'm sure.  Now tie me up!

(Mepps and Snout tie up Fat Cat while Mole and Wart hold Gadget. 
The cat then uses the gun to switch Gadget's and Fat Cat's

     Fat Cat : Let go of me, you imbeciles!

     Wart : Not so fast, blondie.

     Mole : Yeah, you're not as dumb as we look.

     Fat Cat : I certainly hope not.  Let me go!

     Cat : Remember now, your boss is inside that mouse's body
          and vice versa.

(Mole and Wart drop Fat Cat/Gadget.)

     Mole : Sorry, boss.  I forgot.

(Fat Cat stands up and dusts himself off.)

     Fat Cat : You'd better not forget again.  Now take her back
          to my office, and see that she doesn't escape.

(Fat Cat's henchmen take Gadget into the alley.  Fat Cat gets
into the Ranger Mobile and drives off.)

(Scene shifts to R.R.H.Q.  Chip and Dale are busy decorating the
front room.  Monty and Zipper bring a cake in from the kitchen.)

     Monty : Ta da!  A culinary masterpiece.  Do you think she'll
          like it?

     Chip : I hope so.  She really looked depressed.

     Dale : She'll feel much better when she finds a surprise
          party waiting for her.

(Zipper looks out the window and sees Fat Cat drive up.)

     Zipper : She's coming!

     Chip : Hide, everyone!

(The guys hide while Zipper turns off the light.  Fat Cat walks
in the door and looks around.)

     Fat Cat : Where is everybody?  This has to be the place.

(The Rangers jump out of their hiding places.)

     All Rangers : : Surprise!  Happy Birthday, Gadget. (etc.)

     Fat Cat : What in the world?

     Chip : We all feel really bad about ignoring you on your
          birthday, but is the surprise party worth it?

     Fat Cat : Well, I'm surprised.  I guess it was.

     Dale : Are you coming down with a cold?

     Fat Cat : Uh, yes, I just might be catching something.  What
          a thing to happen on my birthday.

(Scene shifts to Fat Cat's office.  Gadget is tied to a chair
while Fat Cat's gang is playing cards.)

     Gadget : What a thing to happen on my birthday.  First,
          everyone ignores me.  Then, I'm captured by Fat Cat. 
          And now, I'm tied to a chair in his office and his

(Mepps lays his cards down on the table.)

     Mepps : Gin!

     Mole : I thought we were playing Go Fish.

     Gadget : You'd never be able to win at a game of real skill.

     Wart : Shut up, before we decide to play Pin the Tail on the
          Rescue Ranger.

     Gadget : You shut up!  You're all too stupid to beat me at
          chess.  I'll take you all on.

(Mepps gets a chess set.)

     Mepps : Then let's get started.  Get over here!

     Gadget : Yeah, right.  I'll just bounce the chair right over
          there.  If you'd untie me, I might go easy on you.

     Snout : Nice try, but were not letting you out of our sight.

(Mole and Wart drag Gadget's chair over to the table.  Snout
moves the King Bishop pawn forward one space.)

     Snout : Your move.

     Gadget : Pawn to King four.

     Snout : Huh?

     Gadget : Move the pawn in front of the King two spaces.

(Snout moves her pawn, then moves the King Knight pawn forward
two spaces.)

     Gadget : Queen to King Rook five.  Checkmate.

(Snout makes the move, studies the board, and throws it into the

     Snout : You were just lucky.  One more game.

     Gadget : Well, this is getting boring.  Sorry, but I need a
          worthy opponent.

     Mepps : Then we'll get you one.

(Fat Cat's gang leaves, making sure to lock the door.)

     Gadget : That was almost too easy.  Now, since I'm in Fat
          Cat's body, I should be able to use his claws to get me

(Gadget opens a claw and cuts through the ropes.)

     Gadget : There.  Now to get out of here.  I heard the door
          latch, so I can assume that it is locked.

(Gadget looks at a small window and, forgetting her new size,
tries to climb through it.  She gets stuck, but gets loose with a
little bit of grunting.)

     Gadget : That didn't work.  Now what?

(Gadget walks around the room, looking for a way out.  She stops
at Fat Cat's desk and leans on the trap door button (used in
"Flash the Wonder Dog.")  The door opens.)

     Gadget : Golly, I wonder where this leads.

(Gadget moves to go through the door, but as she takes her hand
off the button, it closes.)

     Gadget : Smart, but not smart enough.

(Gadget gets a book and sets it on the button.  The door opens
and she jumps into the hole.  She slides down a long tube and
makes a soft landing in the basement.  Fat Cat's henchmen are
there talking to the Professor cat.)

     Mole : Please come and take this girl down a notch.  She
          beat us at chess in two moves and now she's getting

     Cat : All right, I'll see what I can do.  You didn't leave
          her alone, did you?

     Mepps : Yeah, but she was tied up.

     Cat : You idiots!  She can use Fat Cat's claws to cut the
          rope and escape.

(The bad guys run upstairs and the ray gun falls out of the cat's
pocket.  Gadget sneaks over and picks it up.)

     Gadget : This is the gun they used to switch our bodies. 
          I'd better take this with me.  No telling what Fat Cat
          is doing right now.

(Scene shifts to R.R.H.Q.  Everyone is wearing party hats.  Fat
Cat is opening a present meant for Gadget.)

     Fat Cat (thinking) : I need to make my move sometime soon. 
          These poor fools don't even realize that I'm not their
          friend, or else the party would have been over long

(Fat Cat opens the box and discovers a wrench.)

     Fat Cat : Oh boy!  Just what I always wanted. (Not!)

     Chip : I hope you like it.  I saw it in the store and
          remembered that you've wanted one for months.

     Dale : That's the last of them.  What do you want to do now?

     Fat Cat : I'm kind of tired.  I think I'll go lie down.

     Monty : Hold it right there!

     Fat Cat (thinking) : Oh no!  How could they have found out?

     Fat Cat : What's the problem, fatb- er, Monterey?

     Monty : You haven't had your cake yet.

(Dale leaves the room and comes back with the lit cake. 
Everybody starts singing "Happy Birthday to You" while Monty
pushes Fat Cat into a chair.  As they sing, "Happy Birthday, dear
Gadget," Dale trips on a rug and throws the cake right into Fat
Cat's lap.  She, uh he, uh whatever, gets up, grabs Dale by the
shirt, and drags him to his feet.)

     Fat Cat : You numbskull!  It'll cost fifty dollars to get
          this thing dry cleaned.

(The others look at Fat Cat in astonishment with a hint of fear. 
Fat Cat puts Dale down.)

     Fat Cat : Oh, sorry, Dale.  I suppose I'm more fatigued than
          I had originally assumed.  I really should lie down.

(Fat Cat walks into a hallway.)

     Monty : Uh, Gadget, your room's down that hall.

     Fat Cat : Shows you how tired I am.

(Fat Cat goes through the correct hall.)

(Scene shifts to on the ground around the tree.  Gadget is
running up to it, huffing and puffing.)

     Gadget : Fat Cat needs to go on a diet.

(Gadget starts climbing the tree.  Fat Cat looks out the window
and sees her.  He runs into the front room.)

     Fat Cat : Fat Cat found us!  He's climbing Headquarters now.

     Others : What?!

     Chip : Repel invader!

(Gadget reaches the runway as the others come out the door.)

     Chip : All right, Fat Cat.  Get out of here!

     Gadget : Wait!  I'm not Fat Cat, I'm Gadget.

     Dale : That's the craziest story I've ever heard.

     Fat Cat : Yeah, go home.

(The Rangers move to attack Gadget, but she holds up her hand.)

     Gadget : Would Fat Cat know about Monty's cheese attacks? 
          Or what about my last name?  Would he know that?  Or my
          father's name?

     Dale : He might.

     Gadget : What about the Ranger Plane?  If there was a
          problem with it, would he know how to fix it?  Would he
          be able to design something out of odds and ends that
          really worked?

     Chip : I'm getting tired of this.

     Gadget : Would Fat Cat do this?

(Gadget rips Fat Cat's jacket with his claws.  Fat Cat moves to
stop her.)

     Fat Cat : Are you crazy?  That's 100% velvet!

     Gadget : I rest my case.

     Monty : Gadget, it is you!

(Gadget takes the ray gun out of her pocket.  Fat Cat starts to
run, but Monty grabs him.)

     Gadget : He used this to switch our minds.  Tie us both up
          and switch us back.  Just point and shoot.

(The Rangers tie up Fat Cat and Gadget.  Dale and Monty hold the
gun while Chip switches Fat Cat and Gadget's minds.)

(Scene shifts to the bushes around Headquarters.  Fat Cat's
henchmen are waiting.)

     Wart : I say we go in and take her.

     Cat : You fool!  Then they'd just suspect more.

(Fat Cat falls out of the tree and his henchmen tie him up.)

     Snout : That'll teach you to escape.

     Fat Cat : You morons!  It's me.  They switched us back

     Mole : Yeah, right.  And I'm the Tooth Fairy.  Come on!

(Fat Cat's henchmen drag him back to his hideout.)

(Scene shifts to R.R.H.Q.  Gadget is looking over the room.)

     Gadget : You did all of this for me?  And I thought you
          didn't remember my birthday.

     Chip : Is it a nice surprise, even though it didn't go quite

     Gadget : Yes, it is.  Thanks, guys.

(Gadget hugs them all.)

     Gadget : Still, I wish you hadn't ignored me like that.  If
          I hadn't left, none of this would have happened.

     Dale : Next time we have a surprise party planned, we'll be
          sure to tell you about it.