Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers
"Love is a Many Splendored Thing"
Written by Michael Gibby

Characters herein are © Walt Disney corporation. Distribute freely, but do not modify.
(Scene opens in Prof. Nimnul's laboratory with Nimnul bent over a
rack of chemicals and test tubes.  Nimnul sits up, a test tube
filled with a pink liquid in his hand.)

     Nimnul : At last!  The formula for my revenge, right here.   
          But first, I must test it.

(Nimnul walks over to a cage with a male dog and a female cat,
separated by a piece of plywood.)

     Nimnul : Under normal circumstances, these two fight like    
          cat and dog.

(Nimnul removes the wood.  The two animals start fighting.)

     Nimnul : But with this, they shouldn't fight anymore.

(Nimnul throws the test tube into the cage.  The tube shatters,
releasing heart-shaped clouds of pink gas.  The two animals
inhale it, then immediately stop fighting.  Instead, they cuddle
together, as if both in love.)

     Nimnul : Success!  The effect is almost immediate.  Anyone
          who inhales this formula's fumes will fall head-over-
          heels in love with the next member of the opposite
          gender they see.  But of course, cats and dogs must
          fight.  It's a law of nature.

(Nimnul throws a test tube full of a green liquid into the cage,
which releases heart-shaped clouds which break in two.  The two
animals inhale the gas.  They shake, blink twice, then resume
fighting.  Nimnul separates the two, then replaces the wood.)

     Nimnul : Now, if I mix the two formulas just right, I can
          delay the effects for up to twenty-four hours.  Then, I
          can sell it as perfume, and all the women in town will
          buy it!  But I must hurry.  The formula loses its
          strength after ten seconds in air.

(Scene shifts to a sidewalk.  The Rescue Rangers are just coming
out of a supermarket with a load of groceries.)

     Chip : Well, that takes care of the food or another week. 
          After we get home and put these groceries away, let's
          go to the Police station to look for more cases.

(Gadget is walking with her own bag.  She is about to step under
a ladder when Dale stops her.)

     Dale : Whew, that was close!  You nearly had some bad luck
          on your hands.

     Gadget : Oh, Dale!  Don't be silly.  It's just a ladder.

     Dale : Yeah, and you almost walked right under it.  And on
          Friday the 13th, too!  There's bad luck just waitin' to

     Gadget : Come on, Dale.  That's just a silly superstition. 
          Today's like any other day.

(Gadget continues walking under the ladder.  A richly dressed
lady drops a bottle of perfume labelled "Eau de Lunmin."  The
bottle barely misses Gadget, but she is covered with the

     Dale : Ya see!  I told you you'd get bad luck.

(Gadget gets up and proceeds to try to clean herself off.)

     Chip : Don't be a nitwit, Dale!  That was just a       

     Monty : Chip's right, mate.  Just because Gadget went under
          a ladder then nearly got hit by a bottle doesn't mean
          she has bad luck.

     Gadget : Well, I won't be able to clean this off right now.
          Let's get back to headquarters, then I can take a

(The Rangers resume walking.  Scene shifts to the front room of
Ranger Headquarters.  All the Rangers, except Gadget, are there.)

     Chip : Hurry up, Gadget!  If we don't get to the station
          soon, we won't get any good cases.

     Dale : I still think she should stay inside.  It's Friday
          the 13th and she went under a ladder.  Not a very good

     Monty : Will you stop with that Friday the 13th business!
          You're gettin' me nervous now.

     Dale : Well, you should be!  This is one of the unluckiest
          days of the year.

     Chip : Never mind, Gadget!  It's too late to get to the
          station now.  We'll have to wait 'til tomorrow.

     Dale : I'm glad you finally saw it my way.  But we can't go
          tomorrow either.

     Chip : Why not?

     Dale : Tomorrow's a holiday, and we need the vacation.

     Monty : That's right, mate.  It's Valentine's Day tomorrow,
          and you know what you always do on Valentine's Day.

     Chip and Dale : Try to get Gadget to notice us.

     Chip : I almost forgot.  I have to get her something special
          this year.

(Gadget has been standing in the doorway wearing a bathrobe on
her body and a towel on her head since Dale mentioned the
holiday.  She now enters the room and makes herself known.) 

     Gadget : Yeah, not another box of chocolates.  The last one
          made me sick for a week.

(Chip starts blushing.)

     Gadget : It's really sweet of you to notice, but I'm just
          not ready for that sort of thing.  Maybe I will be

     Dale : That's what you said last year.

     Monty : Don't speak too soon, Dale.  Valentine's Day can do
          strange things to people.

     Gadget : Oh, while I'm thinking about it, could I get  
          someone to wash my coveralls?  They're completely
          drenched with that perfume, and it's really not that
          great of a smell.

     Chip and Dale : I'll do it!

     Dale : You shut up!  I wanna do it.

     Chip : Make me.  I want to.

(Chip and Dale begin arguing in that incomprehensible chatter
they always use, then start fighting tooth-and-nail.  Monty
separates them after a few seconds.)

     Monty : Now boys, let's settle this fairly.

(Monty pulls a quarter out of his jacket.)

     Monty : Heads, Chip washes them.  Tails, Dale does.

(Monty throws the coin in the air.  It lands on the floor, starts
spinning, then settles on the "heads" side.)

     Gadget : Here you go, Chip.

(Gadget throws her coveralls to Chip.  The clothing lands right
on his head.)

     Gadget : Now, don't use too much starch!  Goodnight,   

     Chip : See you in the morning.

(Gadget exits the room.  Everyone starts yawning.)

     Monty : It is gettin' pretty late.  We should go to bed now.

     Chip : Sounds good to me.  Goodnight, guys.

(Dale stops Chip in his tracks.)

     Dale : Uh-uh, Chipper!  You still have to wash Gadget's
          coveralls.  You won the coin toss.

     Chip : Yeah, right.  Well, pleasant dreams.

(Monty, Dale, and Zipper leave the room.  Chip goes to the sink
and starts washing the coveralls.)

(Scene shifts to inside Gadget's bedroom.  It is Valentine's Day
morning.  Gadget is still in bed, yet is close to waking up. 
There is a knock on the door.)

     Gadget : Who is it?

     Chip : Gadget?  I've got your coveralls all cleaned.  Should
          I leave them outside the door?

     Gadget : Oh, come on in, Chip.

(Chip opens the door and enters the room.  Gadget's head is
turned toward the wall.)

     Chip : Are you okay, Gadget?  You hardly ever sleep this

     Gadget : I just feel kinda funny.  Maybe there was something
          in that perfume.

     Chip : Well, here's your coveralls.  Should I put them in
          your closet?

(Gadget turns toward Chip and looks right at him.  Something not
unlike one of Monty's cheese attacks happens to her.)

     Gadget : No, Chipper.  I'll take them right now.

(Gadget stands up and takes the coveralls from Chip.)

     Chip : "Chipper?"  Are you sure you're all right?

     Gadget : Just fine, sweetie.  See you at breakfast.

(Chip leaves, shutting the door behind him.)

(Scene shifts to just outside Gadget's door.  Monty and Dale are
standing there with confused looks on their faces.  Gadget can be
heard singing on the other side of the door.)

     Monty : "Chipper?"  "Sweetie?"  Is she okay?

     Chip : Either there's something wrong with her, or I'm
          having a great dream.

     Dale : This isn't a dream for me.  More like a nightmare.

(Scene shifts to the kitchen in R.R.H.Q.  Monty is cooking
something at the stove.  Chip, Dale, and Zipper are waiting at
the table.  There is a radio playing nearby.)

     Chip : I hope there's nothing wrong with Gadget.

     Dale : Yeah.  She sure has been acting funny.

(The radio comes alive with a news bulletin.)

     radio : We interrupt this program for a special news   
          bulletin.  Women all over the city are falling         
          hopelessly in love with the next men they see!  So all      
          men, stay inside!  We now return you to our regularly  
          scheduled programming.

(The radio resumes playing music.)

     Chip : Sounds like Gadget's not the only woman acting funny.

(Gadget yells from a nearby hallway.)

     Gadget : Chip, could you come here a minute?

(Chip yells back.)

     Chip : I'll be right there.

(Chip gets up and leaves.  A few moments after he enters the
hallway, several kissing sounds are heard.  Chip staggers out of
the hallway, his face covered with lip-shaped lipstick prints,
and sits down next do Dale.  Gadget walks in, wearing her
coveralls and, strangely enough, makeup, including lipstick.  She
goes over to the table, pushes Dale out of his chair, then sits
down next to Chip.  Monty brings a plate full of some culinary
delight to the table.  Chip picks up a napkin and wipes the
lipstick off of his face.)

     Gadget : Good morning, Chipper.  Did you sleep well?

     Chip :  Uh... just fine, thank you.  Maybe we should go down
          to the police station after breakfast.

(Dale sits down on the other side of Chip.)

     Dale : Why should we?  I thought we were going to take a
          vacation today.

     Chip (whispering) : Are you kidding?  Not only is Gadget
          acting strange, but every woman in the city is too. 
          I'd call that a mystery.

     Gadget : Sounds like a wonderful idea, dear.

(Gadget kisses Chip on the cheek.  Dale starts turning green with

     Chip : I think I could learn to like this!

(Scene shifts to inside the police station.  Muldoon and Kirby
are just arriving for duty.  The Rangers are in their usual
hiding place on top of the ceiling fan.  Spinelli is sitting at
his desk.)

     Muldoon : Hey, where are all the lady cops?

     Spinelli : Didn't you hear the radio this morning?  If we
          take the chance of being the first men they see, we may
          never hear the end of it.  I gave them all the day off.

(Just then, a rock with a message attached flies through the
window.  Kirby hands the note to Spinelli, who reads it.)

     Spinelli : "By now, you've probably noticed the strange
          behavior that the women of this city have been    
          exhibiting. Well, if I don't get fifteen million       
          dollars by sunset, no woman will ever act normal again." 
          signed Professor Norton Nimnul.

(Camera shifts to the Rangers.)

     Chip : I should have known Nimnul was behind all this. 
          Let's get over to his lab.  He may have an antidote.

(Scene shifts to high above the city.  The Rangers are en route
to Prof. Nimnul's laboratory via the Ranger Plane.  Gadget is
having trouble flying straight because she has her arm around

     Dale : Hey, Gadget!  Watch where you're flyin'.  I'd like to
          get there in one piece.

(Gadget has not been paying attention.  Instead, she has been
flirting with Chip.  Dale's statement snaps her back to reality.)

     Gadget : I'm sorry, Dale.  What was that?

(Dale rolls his eyes.)

     Dale : Never mind.  How much farther to Nimnul's laboratory?

     Chip : There it is now.

(Gadget lands the Ranger Plane, none too smoothly, next to an
open window.  The Rangers get out of the plane.)

     Chip : Zipper, tie this rope to something inside.  We'll
          meet you there.

(Chip gives a rope to Zipper, who takes one end into the window. 
He then signals Chip that it's ready.  Chip tugs on the rope,
which stays rooted, and begins climbing.  The others follow, with
Gadget close behind Chip.  When they reach the top, they are met
with the sight of an assembly line cranking out bottles of Eau de
Lunmin.  Nimnul is looking along the assembly line, making sure
everything is running smoothly.)

     Nimnul : Wonderful!  Everything checks out.  Now, to start
          working on an assembly line for the antidote in case
          the city decides to pay up.

     Chip : I knew he'd have an antidote.

     Dale : Well, let's get some for Gadget.

(Gadget has found a label from one of the perfume bottles.  She
is in the process of destroying it piece by piece.)

     Gadget : He loves me.  He loves me not.  He loves me...

(Chip notices the printing on the label that Gadget is tearing.)

     Chip : Wait a minute, Gadget.  Could I see that?

     Gadget : Sure, Chipper.  Here you go.

(Gadget hands the label to Chip.  You can still make out the "Eau
de Lunmin.")

     Chip : "Eau de Lunmin?"  That's the name of the perfume that
          Gadget was covered with.

     Monty : Of course!  Lunmin is Nimnul spelled backwards.

     Gadget : Can I have that label back please?  I wasn't done
          with it.

(Gadget takes the label from Chip and continues tearing it up.)

     Dale : She's gettin' weirder by the minute.

     Chip : Let's worry about that later.  Right now we have to
          destroy that machine.

     Dale : Yeah, but how?

(Gadget tears the last of the label to shreds.)

     Gadget : ...He loves me not.  Oh, darn.  I'd hoped it would
          have ended better.

     Monty : Well, Gadget.  You might try it on that machine over
          there.  You might like the ending more.

     Gadget : Great idea, Monty.  Be back in a few minutes.

(Gadget runs toward the machine.)

     Chip : Yeah, Monty.  Great idea.  She'll have that thing
          dismantled in no time.

(Scene shifts to somewhere inside the works of the assembly line. 
Gadget is working like crazy dismantling it.)

     Gadget : He loves me.  He loves me not.  He loves me...

(By now, the machine has started to make noise, which attracts
Nimnul, who has started the assembly line for the antidote.)

     Nimnul : What's going on?  Oh no!  My machine!

(Meanwhile, the other Rangers have started loading the antidote
into a large moving van.)

     Monty : Step it up, palies!  We need to get all this stuff
          loaded before Nimnul gets back.

(Chip and Dale put the last bottle in the truck.)

     Chip : That's the last of it.

(By now, Gadget has finished destroying the assembly line.  She
removes the last piece.)

     Gadget : ...He loves me!  That's more like it.

     Chip (yelling) : Come on, Gadget!  Let's get outta here.

     Gadget : Coming, handsome.

(Gadget runs toward the moving van that has the antidote inside. 
Chip and Dale are standing on the steering wheel.  Monty is own
by the pedals.  Zipper is hovering near the ignition.)

     Gadget : Hi, Chipper!  What do you need me to do?

     Chip : Go get the Ranger Plane and meet us at headquarters.

     Gadget : Okay, hon.  See you later.

(Gadget leaves to get the Ranger Plane.  Zipper turns the key and
Monty steps on the accelerator.  Chip and Dale run on the wheel
to turn the car.)

(Scene shifts to outside R.R.H.Q.  The moving van pulls up, just
as Gadget lands the Ranger Plane.)

     Gadget : What now, sugar?

     Chip : We need to figure out a way to get this to every
          woman in the city.

     Gadget : Well, we could crystallize it and seed it into the
          clouds.  Then, when it rains, it'll be everywhere.

(Scene shifts to above a cloud.  The Ranger Plane is dropping
crystals into it.  After a few seconds, there is a flash of
lightning and a thunderclap.  It then begins to rain.)

(Scene shifts  to the city streets.  There are women chasing men
nearly everywhere.  A few seconds after the rain starts, all the
women shake, blink twice, then stop chasing the men.  The rain
stops after a few minutes.)

(Scene shifts to inside R.R.H.Q.  Chip and Gadget are sitting on
the couch, with Gadget looking extremely flirtatious.  Monty and
Dale come in the door with the last bottle of the antidote.  Chip
gets up and takes the bottle from them.)

     Monty :  Well, this is the last bottle of antidote, but do
          you really want to do it?

     Dale : He does!  He does!

(Chip brings the bottle over to Gadget and opens the lid.  Green
gas comes out of the bottle.  Gadget inhales it, shakes, blinks
twice, then returns to normal, coming out of her position.)

     Gadget : Wh-what happened?  Why am I wearing this makeup?

     Chip : It's a long story, Gadget.

     Gadget : I had the strangest dream.  I was dismantling a
          machine while playing "He loves me.  He loves me not." 
          Oh well.  I think I'll go take off this makeup.

(Gadget leaves the room.  Chip walks over to Monty and Dale with
a depressed look on his face.)

     Dale : Well, Gadget's definitely back to normal.

     Monty : Are you okay, Chip?

     Chip : I guess it was for the best.  But it was fun while it