Gadget's Notable Adventures in Toontown

"Sailor Mouse"

Written by Candy Courtnier

Email forwarded thru: Gadget Archive

Characters herein are © Walt Disney corporation. Distribute freely, but do not modify.

[Editor's note: This is a parody on the immensely popular (in Japan) Sailor Moon Anime]

GNAT Vol. 1, No. 34

Title: "Sailor Mouse"

Gadget is talking to Fenster.

Gadget: You're saying I can't go to build the Go Coaster at the new Toontown
in Toyko Disneyland?

Fenster: You act as if it's a mandate. I never mandate. Do I?

Gadget (saluting:) No sir!

Fenster: I merely pointed out that you wouldn't enjoy yourself.

Gadget: Why?

Fenster: To prevent you from going.

Gadget: No, why wouldn't I enjoy myself?

Fenster (slyly:) I was instructed not to reveal any of this...

Gadget (desperately:) Any of what?!

Fenster (sadistically:) Japan as a whole...

Gadget: Japan what?!

Fenster (feigning inner turmoil:) ...has no idea you exist.

That late evening, Gadget sits on the berm thinking. She looks up at the
stars. Unfortunately, the full moon and light polution block out everything
up to the planets. She sighs.

Gadget: Not even my invention's my invention. If only they had ever heard of
me in Japan. It's nights like this I feel even smaller. I feel like an
atomic particle. No, a subatomic particle. Unnoticed even by electron
microscopes. (looks up) Star light... no, can't see that. Planet light...
Moonlight, moon bright, next best thing to a star I see tonight, wish I may,
deletia, I make tonight. I only wish to be known throughout Japan.

She stares out into the void. The moon shines at her, but doesn't email her
a reply or anything. She gets up and starts for her door.

Gadget: Well, even us know-it-alls need a little superstition now and then.
Good night, moon. [groan] Have pity on this little quark?

Gadget promptly trips over something and falls over the side of the berm.

Suddenly she is lying in bed. Gadget blinks. She is in a smallish room with
a large window, out of which sunlight pours. Her friends are clustered
around her: Chip, Dale, Ditz, and Lono. The strange things are: all the
printed material around her is in Japanese; she is pink pajamas; her
acquaintances are to her scale, even Lono; and there is a small cat sitting
at the foot of her bed. It is a fraction her size. Gadget looks around at
everything, then decides to make an all-encompassing statement.

Gadget: Golly! A disproportionate cat!

Cat: Please... call me Up.

Gadget: But I don't have your n-

Up: I know you don't remember me, Gadget-chan. You were retrieving the
Ginsuissue from the UniProse when Queen Neutrite's minions drained your life
force. We had to combine-

Gadget: Whoa there.


Gadget: Now then. First, what on earth are you talking about?

Lono: Oh, dear, the damage was extensive.

Gadget blinks at Lono's three-syllable feat.

Up: Yes, Lono-chan [sic]. Gadget-chan, you must remember- you are the
saviour of the universe.

Gadget (blushing, looking aside:) Gosh, that's... uh... very considerate of
you. I mean, I think it's a good roller coaster and all, but-

Up (agitated:) Stop babbling, rice brain! What roller coaster?!

Gadget: I- ...I'm in Japan, aren't I?

Ditz: Of course, Tokyo.

Gadget flops back on her pillow.

Gadget (quietly:) Rub salt in it, why don't you.

Chip: Ooh, like, get with it, Gadget-chan!

Ditz: My fist-sized computer says she's almost recovered.

Dale: We need a plan-

Gadget: Okay. I understand now. I fell off the berm and I'm now having a
horrible delusion, based mostly upon my hurt pride, while a medical team
watches my life signs slowly trickle away.

Up: This is no delusion, cabbage cerebellum! Perhaps you're still confused
by your fevered dreams. They could have appeared quite real.

Gadget (moaning:) Is this the definition of psychosis, or what?

Up: You were on a mission to save the universe from the alternate reality
known as the UniProse, and its ruler, Queen Neutrite. She intends to drain
the earth of its energy, mostly through harassing everybody a lot. You had
just retrieved both Ginsuissue- sacred stones posessing awesome power and a
pleasant country-fresh scent- when Neutrite's forces attacked suddenly and
drained most of your energy. The Boater Buddies brought you home.

Gadget (disoriented:) Bowler Booties?

Up: Boater Buddies, noodle noodle! Four young schoolgirls dedicated to
grinding up the intestines of evil!

Gadget: Eww. Um, they're not quite all-

Up: Schoolgirls, schoolboys, if there were more female characters in this
series, we wouldn't have a problem, would we?! Would we?!!

Gadget: You'd... have to talk to my cartoonist.

Up: Right. Ditz-chan, with the power of the Periodic Table of the Elements,
is Boater Charm. Chip-chan, with the power of the Geiger counter,
is Boater Truth. Dale-chan, with the power of the plastic molecular model,
is Boater Strange. Lono-chan, with the power of the radiation-resistant
waders, is Boater Beauty!

Gadget: But haven't you mixed up the flavors, and aren't Truth and Beauty
the old names?

Up: Good question, meatball mind. The Boater Buddies call upon the powers of
the subatomic particle, as attributed to it thousands of years ago!

Gadget: Uh-

Up: Shut up.

Gadget (after a moment's hard look at Up) jumps from bed, then gives the
group a resigned look.

Gadget: Well, I hear the best thing to do is play along with these episodes.

Up: This is NOT an "episode!"

Gadget says nothing.

Up (sighing:) I suppose we had better reacquaint you with your favorite
weapons, borscht brain.

The Boater Buddies grin and each offer up a lapful of girl stuff, handing
them to Gadget as Up lists them. Up continues.

Up: You use the A-Bomb Bangles, the Fissionnet Stockings, the Proton Powder
Puff, the Electron Compact, the Particle Tiara, the Halflife Lip Gloss-

Gadget: Excuse me.

Up: The Full-Length Flamethrower, the Meltdown Makeup Purse, the
Brassiere of Bravado, the Lash-out Mascara, the Tron Talcum Tin-

Gadget: But-

Up: -and the hair-mounted Bike Reflectors of Justice, for crossing streets
at night.

Gadget collapses under the stuff.

Gadget (faintly:) Can I trade for the Periodic Table?

Up (at the very thought!:) NO TRADING!!

Gadget looks into the Full-Length Flamethrower, which just happens to be a
mirror with a gunmount. Her eyes look different somehow. She shrugs and
returns to the matter at hand.

Gadget: I really think you've got the wrong person.

Up: Well, of course we do, sausage neurons! This is what makes you so known
throughout Japan! The manner in which you whine, goof off, and ogle ever
male organism near you is pleasing to audiences worldwide!

Gadget (crawling out:) I really think-

Up jumps onto Gadget's face. Gadget is a tad alarmed. Up is unhinged.

Up: STOP it! This is getting us nowhere! Just say, "Which subatomic particle
am I?"

Gadget (confused:) Y-

Up: SAY IT!!

Gadget: Which subatomic particle am I?

Up (dramatically:) Gadget-chan, with the power of fashion accessories too
numerous to mention, you are Boater Quark!

Gadget: Oh, I get it! That's very clever, the leader being the common
denominator- ack!

Gadget is assaulted by pink ribbon; she flails and Up loses her grip and
falls flat on her nose. Gadget's surroundings become surreal and bubbly.
She tries to wriggle free, dropping any remaining items she had.
Up rolls her eyes. Gadget is tearing frantically at the stuff with her
teeth, but finally the ribbon gets the better of Gadget and encases her.
In a flash of light, Gadget is Boater Quark! (HELP US!!)

Boater Quark (brr) wobbles for a moment, then looks down at herself. She is
obviously embarassed by the length of her skirt, or lack thereof.
(Lack of skirt. (: ) She turns to look in the Full-Length Flamethrower. It
has been thoroughly broken. Gadget sighs and opens the Electron Compact,
surveying the damage.

Gadget: Golly, you coulda warned me.

Up: You'll get used to the ribbon.

Gadget: Well, I kinda meant the huge, fire-drawing red bow on my bottom.

Up: Whatever. Now go combat evil, retrieve the Ginsuissue, and-

v/offpanel: Not so fast.

Everybody looks out the window, which is conveniently open. Silohetted
against the huge midnight moon (negating the sunlight of two minutes ago, I
know, picky, picky) is the love interest. We leave it up to our faithful
(and non-previewing) audience to decipher who that is. He is in a tux with
all acoutrements and a mask to hide his identity (yeah, right.)
The cummerbund actually does something for his gut.

Up: Gasp! It's Tuxedo Hat Mask Spats Cane Flower!

Tuxedo etc.: I thought you respected me enough to call my by my full name,
Up Quark.

Up: All right, then, gasp, it's Tuxedo Hat Mask Spats Cane Flower Smith.

Gadget (leaning out the window and waving:) Golly! Hi there!

Tuxedo Blah Blah looks bemusedly down on her.

Tuxedo Boy: I don't know why you're bothering, Up. You know I have one
Ginsuissue, and you know I'll have the other. 

Lono(-chan:) But what of your romantic tension with Boater Quark?

Gadget: You neglected to mention this, Up.

Up: Stop interrupting! Tuxedo... er...

Tuxedo et al.: All of it...

Up (as if to spit:) TuxedohatmaskspatscaneflowersmithweNEEDtheginsuissue!

Gadget: Gosh, how Germanic.

Up (whirling around, screeching:) Will you be QUIET?!

Gadget: Isn't there anything I can say that won't unnerve you?

Up: NO!

Tuxedo deletia (to Gadget:) You are always fetching that way. Here.

He pulls the generic flower from his lapel. Another pops into its place
like a Kleenex (tm). He tosses it lightly down to her. She leans out the 
window to catch it, but barely misses. The flower's petals cut into the
building's siding with a chink, and the flower lodges there. Everybody
stares first at it, then at him.

Gadget (indignantly:) You're being awfully out of character!

Tuxedo generico: Farewell. (puff of smoke)

All the Boater Buddies lean out the window, squishing Gadget, who is at the

All BB's ex. Gadget: What a way dreamy guy!

Gadget (having difficulty breathing:) I suppose we had better get to saving
the world, then, huh?

Up (sitting undamaged on the sill while Gadget struggles under the others:)
You have a keen grasp of the obvious, hambone h-

Gadget: Wait a minute! If I'm the saviour of the universe, why do you keep
insulting me, comparing my brain to main-course foodstuffs in a gag thread
that got old long ago?!

Up: How would I know, melon ball brain?

Gadget: Sigh.

Up: Any more delays?

Gadget: Just one. (holds up the lip gloss) I'm not sure how to apply this
evenly to my cheeks.

Up (in disbelief for a moment:) Well... learn to. For you are- Boater Quark!

Musical number. RUN!!!

Chorus of Young Female Voices (in time to brief scenes in parentheses,

Being good by daylight              (Gadget appears, sporting shorts
                                     under her skirt. Up is not happy.)
Being naughty by nightlight         (Gadget with Tuxedo, who offers her a
                                     flower. She cringes ever-so-slightly.)
Don't be in her fallout tonight     (She shoots at something offscreen,
                                     which promptly falls on her.)
She is the one named Boater Quark!  (She salutes.)

She'll blast evil into neutrons     (Random destruction here)
Chop the heads off wicked croutons
And then discuss her turn-ons

Gadget (spoken:) No, I will not.

She is the one named Boater...

Boater Charm!   (Ditz tries to unroll the Table, which is laminated. It
                 snaps back loudly and she recoils as if from a serpent.)
Boater Truth!   (Chip points the Geiger counter at himself. It emits a
                 solid tone. He raises an eyebrow.)
Boater Strange! (Dale is entangled hopelessly in the molecular model.)
Boater Beauty!  (Lono delicately stomps on something with his waders.)

None alive have their sense of duty
Please note our choice of words

(bridge until further notice)

We cut to a street where dozens of hideous misshapen hell-demons with bad
posture are harassing innocent Anime on the street; one is drop-kicking
Keroppi. >;) The Boater Buddies skid sideways onto the scene.

Gadget (sort of floating, gesturing a lot:) For justice and love, I am the
orange-haired, even if it's just symbolic, yet sexy sailor-impersonating
Boater Quark! In lieu of the quark, I will punish you!

Demon (ogling:) Oh, yes, punish me.

Gadget sort of whines. Silence.

Chip: Well, that's not gonna make it to North America.

Gadget shakes her head a few times and refocuses.

Gadget: I am Boater Quark, out-and-out bow-posteriored boss of justice! On
behalf of the subatomic particle, which sends its regards, I will make
things right and kick savagely at the soft white underbelly of wrongness,
and that... includes...

The evil force has escaped during the speech. Up groans.

(lyrics resume)

Beating evil quite soundly               (The Boater Buddies pursue the
Distributing thrashings quite roundly     monsters through Tokyo. Gadget is
This film was sold quite by-the-poundly   now annoyed into action. Up runs
She is the one named Boater Quark!        head-on into a food kiosk and is
She is the one named Boater Quark!        left behind. The BB's corner the
She is the one- Boater Quark!             bad guys. Silence)

Gadget (evenly:) Hold it right there.

Random demon: Why should we?

Tense moment.

Gadget: I'm an attorney at law representing the Walt Disney Company! *

Every evil thing (and everything else) within forty klicks screams inhumanly
and runs. Up wobbles toward the pleased heroes, then tosses the bento box
off her head.

Up (sweetly:) Very impressive.

The Buddies smile.

Up (screaming, huge lump protruding from her head:) BUT IT'S WRONG!!!

The Boater Buddies make assorted faces. Zoom out to the horizon, where the
sun trickles away.

* [Note: This line fully expected to be the focus of later revision.
   But these things always get dubbed out anyway. >;) ]

Gadget, in "normal" Japanese attire, is sitting on a grassy hill in the
starlight. With her is Tuxedo Whatever, in costume, busy sharpening a tulip.

Gadget: Golly, nobody seems to understand who I really am.

Tuxedo: Probably because you've got a secret identity, my precious

Gadget: No. (sigh.) Why is everybody around here oblivious but me?
I'm told that's a switch...

Tuxedo: Got any 400-grit metal?

Gadget: Never without. (Hands it to him. He starts sanding.) Maybe I should
just be accepting this role instead of struggling with it.

Tuxedo (offhandedly:) Oh, no, you should always pursue your dreams of
glorious return to your past life; I would be overjoyed to see you
fulfill them. 

Gadget (deeply moved:) Really? Oh, Ja-

Tuxedo (butting in:) That way I can have your ginsuissue.


Gadget: I don't know whether to walk away or just kick you in the head.

Tuxedo: But then, whenever you say things like that, my love for
you doubles.

Gadget (with sad understanding:) I should have known.

Tuxedo: Known what, my little-

Gadget: Goodbye, Tuxedo what's-your-face. (trudges off)

Suddenly a figure in white robes appears in front of her. It is
excruciatingly obvious that this guy is Tux. Gadget is not happy.

Figure: The only true powers in the universe are love and the force that
holds rice cakes together! A-ha! Wise, huh?

Gadget (disgusted:) Do you actually think you're fooling me?!

Figure: No, beautiful free radical, for I never lie! I am the Moonlit Twit,
prince of the earth. Here, have a... er... white bloom, completely unrelated
to Tuxedo Hat-

Gadget (evenly:) If you don't shove off and get that flower smelling of
White-Out outta my face, I'll sic the verbally abusive cat on you.

Moonlit Twit: I'm going.

He runs one way and Gadget walks the other, she heaving a sad, heavy sigh.
She reaches the Boater Buddies, and walks right past. Amazed, they tail her.

Chip: Hey, Boater Quark!

Dale: How was your rendezvous?

Gadget (aloud yet to herself:) Maybe I'm not dreaming, after all. Maybe I
really am a whiny just-about-teenage superheroine.

Lono: Salvation! Our leader has regained her senses!

Gadget: See? Nobody here is who they are. Strike that. Who they should be.
But if this is real then they are as they should be and not as they were, or
weren't, because it wasn't real, which it couldn't not have been... guys?

Gadget turns around and sees the Buddies fighting a wave of monsters in the

Gadget: Oops. (She strikes an off-balance pose, and the background changes.)
Makeup Purse- whoa! (She falls over.) ...power.

The Purse, crammed full of stuff (as I hear most are) materializes and the
pink ribbon gushes out of it.

In the next scene, from the back, we see Boater Quark step into the fight.
The beasties stop mauling the Buddies and stare at Gadget, with an overall
air of fear.

Gadget: I don't find that very nice!

The monsters yip and run away.

Gadget: I guess reputation counts. Huh?

Sitting on Dale's half-conscious body is a little mouse girl in a sailor
suit. There is nothing inherantly special about her. Gadget, fraught with
concern, runs up to her, stepping on Lono obliviously.

Gadget: Are you all right?

Girl: Well... I am, now that I've found you.

Gadget: Don't worry. We'll get you somewhere safe.

Girl: No, Mom, I mean- (claps her hands over her mouth)

Gadget (sympathetically:) I'm afraid you're a little confused.

Girl: I admit it! I'm your daughter!

Gadget (leaning down and whispering:) That's ph- that's impossible, kid.

Girl: No, your daughter from the future! The child of Boater Quark and-

Gadget: O-kay! I think we've established that! I believe you, really, heh
heh heh. Ahem. So, ah... what brings you here?

Girl: In the future, I got a hold of the Bottom Ginsuissue, and I came here
to give it to you.

Gadget: Golly, that sure is considerate of you!

V/off scene: Yes, very... considerate.

The Buddies, now mostly on their feet, and the child look up. Tuxedo and
all his other names are standing on a nearby rooftop, smiling deviously.
Suddenly Up runs... up to them.

Up: Boater Buddies! Tuxedo Hat Mask... Spats... (frowns) coming.

Tuxedo: Now give me that stupid rock.

Gadget steps in front of her... charge... and grasps the Particle Tiara.

Gadget (serious:) Don't make me do this.

Tuxedo quickly draws a flower from his jacket, with no intention of
stopping. Gadget, on instinct, yells a command and, shaking, hurls the
Particle Tiara. It cuts into the overhang Tuxedo is standing on,
disintegrating it. An instant before he would throw, he falls. Thud. 
Everyone is silent for a moment; Tuxedo is still. Gadget can't believe what
she's done.

Girl (suddenly:) Oh, don't worry, he's fine.

Gadget: How do you know?

Sensing that some of the pressure is off, Up sneaks out to Tuxedo, picks his
pocket for the Top Ginsuissue, and slinks back.

Girl: He-

Gadget (rattled:) Never mind... I think I know...

Up: Well done, spam hemispheres. Now that we have both ginsuissue, we are
ready to defeat the UniProse. Quickly, follow me to the portal!

The Boater Buddies race off heroically. Gadget lingers a moment.

Gadget: Er... take care of him, okay?

Girl: I will. Are family reunions always this awkward?

Up (screeching:) Quark, get your bow over here!!!

Gadget: I'll make it up to you when you're born. Gotta go. (runs off)

The BB's duck into a bakery. And speaking of ducks, one in a yellow suit is
there, in a back room. He appears to be stepping into a cake.

Up (ticked off already:) Get out of our way, you big stupid cameo!!

The duck is actually spooked, and backs off. The BB's jump into the cake
head first, one by one, Gadget last.

Gadget: Say hi to Tad for me, okay? (jumps in.)

Negaduck: Losers.

The Buddies fall onto a snowplane and roll down a huge hill. When they reach
the bottom they are encased in snow, Gadget with her feet up. She struggles
while the others burst from the snow, coming face to face with five fairies
on steroids.

Up: It's the Arizouna! Unstoppable guardians of the UniProse!

Ditz: What happens when their unstoppable force meets our immovable object?
(Ditz holds up a little Periodic Table [the credit-card style] in front of
her face, and closes her eyes. Wind appears out of nowhere, doing awful
things to her hair.) I call upon all metallic and semi-metallic elements!
Fatal Charm!

Chip (whirling the mic of his Geiger counter like a nunchaku [sp?!]:)
Ring of Truth!

Dale (brandishing a sphere with lots of rods sticking out of it:)
Strangely Spiked Spheroid Salvation!

Lono (on tiptoes:) Awful Wader-prints on your Face!

Gadget (almost free:) These are getting worse every battle.

Up: You evil aliens don't have a chance!!

Before Up is even done gloating, the Arizouna lunge upon the Boater Buddies
and suddenly converge, forming a sort of liquid rock. It screams down on
them, giving everyone just enough time to see what hit them. With an
inexpressable crash, the rock becomes solid.

Gadget opens her eyes and lifts her head. She is kneeling on the ground in a
dark cavernous place with oozing lava beds and thorny rocks. In the center
of the particularly large flat island that Gadget is on, is a throne. It
looks like it was constructed entirely of bones, draped in paper mache, and
painted scum black. In it is Queen Neutrite, who is green with bright purple
Marge hair. By her side are Up, looking miserable on a choke leash, and the
large, uniformed, asexual Protite. The Ginsuissue also hang tauntingly in
the air beside the queen. A smaller yet similar minion circles the throne,
passing close to Gadget and grinning deviantly.

Neutrite: Ah. Boater Quark.

Gadget: Neutrite.

Up: Protite.

Protite: Up.

Electrite: Chief. McCloud. (author tips her hat to MST3K)

Neutrite: Forgive my minion. It's giddy with anticipation.
However, I told it I would give you an alternate path. Join me. I could use
a smart girl like you in my organization.

Gadget: That line has never worked on me. Where are the Boater Buddies?

Neutrite: Dead, since you mentioned it. And since you've made your choice,
so are you. Electrite?

Protite hangs close to the queen. Before Gadget can react, Electrite zips
around with incredible speed, slams into her, and continues running. It
accelerates ridiculously. Gadget almost loses her eyeballs. Electrite runs
in a huge circle around the throne, shown from above. (:

Suddenly Gadget ducks, breaking Electrite's grip and tripping it. It flies
away from the throne. Protite, enraged, rushes Gadget, but it still has a
grip on Up's leash. At the last moment, Up sinks her claws into Protite's
leg. Protite stops abruptly, hops, and yells, and Gadget takes the
opportunity for a rare bit of violence, administering a heck of a kangaroo
kick. She connects perfectly. Protite goes flying into the throne and the
ginsuissue hurtle toward Gadget. She jumps and catches them.

Up (half-choked, having been dragged across the floor:)
Say "Crammed-in Crystallic Continuity Crossover!" NOW!!
Fulfill your destiny!!!

Gadget (suspended in time for comfort:) Crammed-in Crystallic Continuity

The ginsuissue whirl around above her hands and dissipate. The bad guys stop
for a moment, in awe.

Suddenly there is a thin mist where the ginsuissue were. Gadget steps back.
The mist materializes into a lone figure, in not-very-visible silhouette.
The figure tenses up and pumps an ultra-concentrated cone of blue kinetic
death into Electrite. Electrite elexplodes into billions of tiny globules.
The stranger teleports out. Gadget looks at Up for a beat.

Gadget: My whole destiny was to kiss up to Pa-

Suddenly there is a tremendous boom which knocks everyone off their feet.
Gadget looks down at the throne. Protite, without its counterpart, screams
and claws at itself, falling to its elbows and knees, looking ready to
crack open. Neutrite, aghast and enraged, shoots to her feet.

Neutrite: You little, subatomic fool! You've begun a chain of fission!!

Electrite's particles, on the ground, begin to come back together. They
coagulate and form... the Boater Buddies! Gadget is ecstatic.

Gadget: Golly, you're less destroyed!

Up: The atomic particle may dissipate, but the subatomic particle remains.

Neutrite: I'll convert you to energy for this!

Up: Quickly, shield us!

Dale: Atomic Shell Spheroid with Attractive Semigloss Finish!

A mostly transparent ball forms around the good guys. They start to run the
way any rodents in an exercise ball would. Everything is shaking, crumbling.
At last, Protite erupts into a white gush of liquid fire. The BB's
run faster. Neutrite steps back a pace or two, then floats above the ground,
avoiding the liquid from the cauldron. With concentrated rage, she puts
her hands in front of the gusher and it begins to rush back in. In a moment
she has concentrated it into a sphere. The Buddies look back and freeze
in terror.

Lono: Our shield will never withstand that meltdown!

Neutrite: Perish, subatomic scum-

Gadget (popping out of an only-now-apparant hatch on top of the ball:)
Excuse me. That wouldn't happen to be radioactive, would it?

Neutrite (taken aback:) Yes... now perish, subatomic- say, why do you ask?

Gadget: Oh, just curious.

Neutrite: Right. Now PERISH!

The white-hot molten death [I are so a writer!] screams toward Gadget's
head. She seems really rather calm. The others cringe, thinking she's lost
her mind. At the last instant Gadget grabs Lono's foot and yanks off a wader
and pounds the fireball in a blatant baseball swing. It goes back where it
came from.

Neutrite: Whoops.


The ceiling of the cavern (what was left of it) falls in and everything goes
white. The Buddies awaken lying on the floor of the bakery, unharmed, albeit
glowing slightly. There is exploded cake on every surface (except, of
course, the good guys.) There is also a cake-soaked duck, brandishing a

Negaduck: Wreck my portal, will-

Suddenly a mum hits him in the back of the head. It makes a satisfying
metallic clang and he falls over forwards. Tuxedo-la-de-da stands in the
doorway. Gadget, now standing, blinks.

Gadget: Gosh... does this mean you've unambiguously joined the forces of

Tuxedo: No, I just hate it when a cameo gets two shots in the same episode.

Gadget: Fair enough.

Up: Not too bad, Boater Buddies. And you too, sushi synapses-

Gadget: Stop! Just stop it! Stop verbally brutalizing me, if I've done so
well, and take me home!

Up: You are home.

Gadget (resolutely:) No. This isn't my life. Show me the way out.

Up: Of course this is your life!! You've got thousands more monsters to
fight in alternate dimensions and realities! You've got countless new
weapons to use! You'll be worth merchandising deals undreamt of! And you'll
have dozens of strong children to become the next generation of-

Gadget: Let me OUT!!!

Up: Boater Truth, sedate-

Tuxedo (firmly:) That's enough.

Silent moment. Tuxedo looks aside for a moment, then points a little feebly.

Tuxedo: Fourth cake from the left in the front room.

Up (screaming:) Idiot! Stop her! Stop-

The Boater Buddies step in front of Up. Gadget heads for the door, then
looks back.

Gadget: Thank you.

Gadget steps into the darkness, trips over something, and is on her hands
and knees, on the ground, in the momentarily deserted Toontown.

Gadget: Moonlight, moon bright, first moon I see tonight, wish I may,
et cetera. I wish for Mickey to enjoy his roller coaster.