Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers

"A Matter of Life and Death"

Written by Michael Gibby

Characters herein are © Walt Disney corporation. Distribute freely, but do not modify.
(Scene opens on the runway in front of Ranger Headquarters. 
Gadget is building a new airplane from a kit.  It looks
impressive, but dangerous.)

     Gadget : There.  All set for the first test run.

(Gadget gets into the plane.)

     Gadget : Clear the runway!

     Chip : Wait a minute.  Don't you think you should make sure
          it's safe?  Remember what happened with the Ranger-

     Monty : Yeah, everything fell off just when we needed it. 
          Brakes, wheels,...

     Gadget : I get the idea.  Don't worry.  If anything goes
          wrong, there's a tracking device and a radio in my
          workshop.  If you hear anything, you'll know just where
          to find me.

(Gadget picks up some screws from the floor.)

     Gadget : I hate it when there's parts left over.

     Chip : Now I know you shouldn't go.  At least not until you
          find out where those screws go.

     Gadget : The best way to find out is to test it to it's
          limits.  I'll see you later.

(Gadget takes off in the plane.)

     Dale : Yeah, at your funeral.

(Scene changes back and forth from the cockpit of the new plane
and Gadget's workshop.)

     Gadget : I told you there was nothing to worry about.  Those
          were just some extra screws that come in case you need
          replacement parts.

     Chip : I still think you should turn around and come back. 
          The instruction book says not to fly at top speed
          during the first flight.  You'll lose steering control.

     Gadget : That's just for inexperienced pilots.  I'm sure

(A red light starts flashing on the instrument panel.)

     Gadget : Uh-oh.  I've lost steering.

     Chip : I told you so.  Get out of there.

     Gadget : Don't be silly.  I'll just slow down. 

(Gadget begins to ease up on the throttle.  She is met with a
shower of sparks.)

     Gadget : Speed control gone.  I'm ejecting.

(Gadget flips the ejection switch on the instrument panel.  The
seat and Gadget stay in the plane.)

     Chip : Are you all right?

     Gadget : I just remembered where those parts go.  In the
          ejection seats.

(The right wing is torn away by the wind.)

     Gadget : Right wing destroyed.  I can't control it.

     Chip : Gadget!

     Gadget : I'm going down.  Mayday!  Mayday!

(The plane continues to disintegrate and finally crashes into a
wall.  Gadget is thrown through the windshield.)

     Chip : Gadget, do you read me?

(Nothing but static comes from the radio.)

     Chip : Gadget!  Answer me.

(More static.)

     Chip : We've got to get out there.  Fast!

(The Rangers run out the door.)

(Scene shifts to Gadget's crash site.  She is lying on the
ground, blood trickling from open wounds in her head and arms. 
The Rangers pull up with an ambulance close behind.)

     Chip : There she is!

(Two paramedics get out of the ambulance with a stretcher.  They
rush over to Gadget's limp form and carry it to the ambulance.)

     Monty : You go ride in the ambulance, Chip.  I'll bring Dale
          to the hospital.

(Chip gets in the ambulance with the paramedicscs.  They all drive
away to the hospital.)

(Scene shifts to the emergency room at the hospital.  Gadget is
lying on a bed with a heart monitor hooked to her.  Two doctors
are trying to revive her.)

     Doctor #1 : Get a trauma team in here. STAT.

     Doctor #2 : No pulse.  No breathing.  We're losing her.

(Both doctors attempt CPR.  The heart monitor goes flat and emits
a solid tone.  A translucent image of Gadget gets up out of the

     Doctor #1 : Cancel the trauma team and bring in the coroner.

(The doctors pull a sheet over Gadget's face.  Gadget walks over
to the body, unaware of its identity.)

     Gadget : Poor girl.  She looked too young to die.  Maybe I
          know her.

(Gadget tries to lift the sheet, but her hand passes through it.)

     Gadget : That's strange.  I didn't even feel it.

(Scene shifts to the hospital waiting room.  Monty and Zipper are
sitting on the couch.  Chip and Dale are pacing.  The doctor
walks in.)

     Chip : Is she going to live?

     Doctor #1 : There was nothing we could do.  The wounds were
               too extensive.  I'm sorry.

     Chip : May we see her?

     Doctor #1 : I don't see why not.  After all, she was your

(Scene shifts to the emergency room.  Gadget is still trying to
lift the sheet.  The doctor walks in with the others.)

     Gadget : Hi, guys.  What are you doing here?

(She stands in front of Chip and he walks through her, not even

     Doctor #1 : Here she is, but it's not a pretty sight.

(Gadget looks over the doctor's shoulder as he pulls the sheet
back.  Her body is lying there, with several wounds.)

     Gadget : She looks just like me.  Could it be Lawaini?

     Chip : I still can't believe it.  I told her not to fly so

     Gadget : What do you mean?  She couldn't fly a plane if it
          was on autopilot.

(The doctor replaces the sheet.)

     Doctor #1 : Before you leave, I'll need some information for
               the death certificate.  Name?

     Chip : Gadget Hackwrench.  H-a-c-k-w-r-e-n-c-h.

     Gadget : What?  Is that really me?  Could I be... dead?

(The doctor keeps asking for information.  His voice fades into
the background.)

     Gadget : How?  When?  Why?  What was I doing?  I was flying
          my new plane, and started having trouble.  I went down,
          and now I'm... dead.

(Gadget looks back at the bed.  The doctor finishes the death

     Doctor #1 : Thank you.  I'll have the body sent to the
               funeral home today.  I really hate this part of my

     Chip : The only worse one would be undertaker.  Let's go.

(The Rangers leave and Gadget follows them.)

     Dale : I can't believe she's gone.

     Gadget : But I'm not gone.  I'm right in front of you.

(A bright shaft of light falls in front of Gadget.  She stops and
falls to her knees.  A deep, kind voice speaks to her.)

     Voice : Gadget, it's time to go.

     Gadget : Go where?  I can't be dead.

     Voice : Yes, you can.  You must come with me to determine
          where you go.

     Gadget : You mean, Heaven or He- er... the hot place?

     Voice : Yes.  Come.
(Gadget steps into the light and begins to rise.  As she reaches
the top, her coveralls turn into a white robe.)

(Scene shifts to in front of the Pearly Gates.  St. Peter is at a
desk, where a long line of people and animals are waiting for
judgement.  Gadget gets in the back of the line.)

     Dog : Yeah, I was the perfect car chaser.  Then I decided
          to chase Evil Kneivel during one of his stunts.  How
          did you get here?

     Gadget : I didn't listen to my friends' warnings.

     Human : Not very smart of either of you.  I'm glad I went
          down as a human.

     Dog : Oh, yeah?  What happened to you?

     Human : Lung cancer.  Ten packs a day for three years.

     Gadget : And he's supposed to be the one with superior
          mental facilities.

(By now, they have reached the front of the line.)

     St. Peter : Next.

(Gadget walks up to the desk.)

     St. Peter : Next!  Come on, I don't have all century.

     Gadget : Excuse me.  I'm down here.

(St. Peter looks down over his desk.)

     St. Peter : Oh, another mouse.  Let me guess, cat get you?

     Gadget : No, I had a crash landing.

     St. Peter : When did the boss start letting mice fly?  The
          bat was bad enough.

     Gadget : Some of my best friends are bats, and I've been
          flying since I was born.  My dad was a pilot.

     St. Peter : Ah, you must be Gadget Hackwrench.  Your father,
          Geegaw, is waiting for you just over there.

(Gadget looks around and sees Geegaw standing by the gates.  She
runs over and hugs him.)

     Gadget : I've missed you so much, Dad.

     Geegaw : I missed you, too.  I see you found some friends.

     Gadget : They're almost the family I never had.  I hope they
          can get along without me.  So, what's it like up here?

     Geegaw : They don't call it Heaven for nothing.  You should
          see what's behind that gate.  Of course, if you do you
          can never go back.

     Gadget : You mean, I could go back to Earth and still be

     Geegaw : Yes, but by the time you're cleared, all of your
          friends will be here.  You have to take it up with the
          big guy, and it takes forever to get an appointment
          with Him.

     Gadget : You mean forever forever, or just a very long time?

     Geegaw : Forever forever.  We mean what we say up here.

     St. Peter : That's right.  It's virtually impossible to go
          back, anyway.  There are a few people who have, but
          they never even got to my desk, let alone the Gates. 
          You have been cleared for entry, so you don't need to
          worry about going to the basement.

     Geegaw : Shall we go?

     Gadget : Sure, but is there some way I can see what my
          friends are doing?

     Geegaw : Of course, but it's inside the gates.

     Gadget : Then what are we waiting for?

(The Pearly Gates open and Gadget and Geegaw go through.  The
Gates close behind them, and Geegaw leads her to a television

     Geegaw : Just tell it who you want to see, and you'll be
          able to see them as if you were in the same room.

     Gadget : I'd like to see the Rescue Rangers.

(The screen comes alive with a picture of the Rangers in Gadget's
room, sorting through everything.)

(Scene shifts to Gadget's room.  The Rangers are sorting through
her belongings, deciding who should get what.)

     Chip : I can't believe that she's never coming back.  I
          never got a chance to tell her how I felt.

     Dale : Neither did I.  I wonder which one of us she would
          have liked more.

     Monty : I think she liked us all.  But if it were to come to
          romance, I don't think it would be any of us.  She
          would have met someone that understood her.  I know
          that I could never understand some of the things she

     Dale : I keep expecting her to burst through the door and
          tell us about her latest invention.  If I could only
          see her again, for just a few minutes.

     Chip : We'll never see her again as long as we live.

(Scene shifts to Heaven.  Gadget turns off the viewer and stands

     Geegaw : Gadget, is something wrong?

     Gadget : I just realized how ignorant I've been.  Chip and
          Dale have both been trying to get a real relationship
          started with me for years, and I hadn't even noticed. 
          I want to go home.

     Geegaw : This is home, now.  When I died, I knew how much
          you would miss me, but I stayed.  Do you know why?

     Gadget : Because I needed to cope with the loss?

     Geegaw : That's right!  Your friends will never forget you,
          and you'll never forget them.  But they will get over
          you.  That's what life is all about.  Trials and
          tribulations that everyone has to endure.

     Gadget : But they need me.  I'm the only one that really
          knows how everything works there.  If anything gets
          broken, they're up the creek without a paddle.

     Geegaw : They'll figure it out.  I never thought that you'd
          learn to fly, but the first time you met them, you
          handled the Screaming Eagle perfectly.

     Gadget : Until I wrecked it on the glacier.  They're going
          to wreck something that I built, but they won't be able
          to fix it.  I want out!

(Gadget runs back to the Pearly Gates.  Her father goes after
her.  She tries to open the Gate, but is shocked by electricity.)

     Geegaw : You can't get out that way.  That Gate is the
          world's biggest flyzapper, if you'll pardon the

     Gadget : I don't care.  I want out!

(Gadget shakes the Gate, repeating "I want out!" several times. 
Everything gets wavy as scene shifts to a hospital room.  Gadget
is lying in bed, shaking around.  Chip, sitting in a nearby
chair, rushes over to her.)

     Chip : Somebody get a doctor in here!

(The doctor runs in, the other Rangers close behind.)

     Chip : She started screaming "I want out!" and almost shook
          the bed to pieces.

(Gadget wakes up, confused.)

     Gadget : Chip?  Dale?  I thought I'd never see you again.

     Dale : That's just what I was thinking.  You've been out for

     Monty : Yeah, you're lucky to be alive, luv.  That crash
          gave you quite a few wounds.

     Gadget : Alive?  It must have been a dream.  I died and went
          to Heaven.  My father was there, and I couldn't get
          back.  They wouldn't let me out.

     Chip : Well, were glad to have you back.  We thought you
          were a goner.

(Gadget hugs Chip then Dale.)

     Gadget : I really don't want to have to go through that
          again.  Not until the day I die.